Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
