i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
being pregnant is like rehab
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
