I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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