There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
