so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I believe in your delicious
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
