just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
