marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
