dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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