i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
