I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize