Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
