There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
