we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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