I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
