if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
