just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
