My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
