Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
