weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
