so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
