ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
