She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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