Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
