she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
