So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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