i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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