So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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