i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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