i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize