insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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