I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
