what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
