are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf