I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize