Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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