I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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