happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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