Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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