You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
