They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
