Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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