oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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