What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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