How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
