you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
