What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
