So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
