Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
