your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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