my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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