North Korea, Best Korea!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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