She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I believe in your delicious
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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