id be glad to
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're like the curious george of whores
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
