I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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