He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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