this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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