It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Your tits are I can't wait for
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
