she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
