im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
