Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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