The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize