yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
