is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
