I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
