He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
