Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
