i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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